Why Is My Ex Stalking My Social Media

What is social media stalking?

Social media stalking can include sending abusive and unsolicited messages, harassing someone online, monitoring someone’s activities, and attempting to track someone’s location.

These are behaviors that often come to mind when we think about social media stalking, but the reality is that it can take many different forms, from casually checking someone’s profile on a regular basis to spending hours obsessing over someone’s posts. Here are some more common signs:

• Constantly checking someone’s social media profiles for updates
• Trawling through old posts
• Creating fake accounts to see someone’s profile after being blocked
• Compulsively liking, commenting on, and interacting with someone’s posts.

Reasons why your ex is stalking you on social media

When you find out your ex is stalking you on social media, you’ll likely question their reasons for doing so. In most cases, it’s because they still have feelings for you or miss you, and they feel a need to maintain contact or find out what you’re up to. Let’s look at some of the most common reasons in-depth.

1. Unresolved feelings or emotional detachments

One of the most common reasons for your ex stalking you on social media is when they have unresolved feelings or emotional detachments. In other words, your ex misses you, and they look at your photos, videos, and posts on social media as a way to “see” you and maintain contact.

This may seem harmless at first, but we recommend putting a stop to it by making your profiles private, blocking if necessary, and looking at how to stop online stalking for other solutions. Even if the breakup was amicable, things can turn nasty when your ex eventually sees a photo of you with a new partner.

2. Jealousy or curiosity about the user’s life

It’s natural to be curious about what an ex might be up to since you parted ways. In most cases, you can’t just call them up and ask, but it’s usually easy and fairly discrete to track their activities on social media instead, so we commonly see stalking when one person feels a need to regularly check up on an ex.

Bear in mind, however, that while innocent curiosity is normal, the same behavior is seen in former partners who are jealous. In this case, they will typically check social media posts to see who you’ve been hanging out with, the places you’ve visited, who your friends are, and whether you’re in a new relationship.

3. Control or manipulation tendencies

If your ex is the controlling type, they will often use social media stalking to try to maintain that control over you. They might check for new posts and then use them to manipulate you emotionally, like making negative comments about your appearance in photos or trying to make you feel guilty for moving on. This is concerning behavior, and we advise anyone who’s dealing with it to take steps to stop it right away.

4. Boredom or habitual checking

We sometimes see social media stalking when a former partner simply has nothing better to do. They’ll visit your profile out of boredom, even if they don’t necessarily have lingering feelings or detachment issues. If this happens regularly, it can become habitual, and then your ex might regularly look at your social media profile because it has become part of their routine.

5. Lack of closure after the breakup

Sometimes, breakups happen when one person doesn’t feel the same way they used to about their partner. If this happens to you, your ex may look for closure and for reasons why you ended the relationship—often convinced that there are other factors you’re not telling them about, such as a new partner.

The person who was dumped will commonly try looking for closure on social media when this happens. They might check your posts and photos to see if you ever talk about the relationship, or to find out if someone new is now in your life.

6. Monitoring for comparison or validation

After a breakup, some people feel better about themselves if they believe their ex is struggling, missing them, or worse off in some way. They’ll check social media to see whether you’re doing fun and interesting things, to check if you’re spending time with friends, or to see if you look happy in photos.

This behavior can also occur when an ex feels like they need validation. If he dumped you but stalks you still, it’s possible he’s trying to find some kind of assurance that he did the right thing.

How to know if your ex is stalking you on social media

If you’re worried your ex is stalking you on social media, there are some things you can look out for. In addition to obvious signs, like them liking or commenting on posts, look out for their profile appearing online almost permanently, follow requests from fake accounts, and stalking people you know.

1. Excessive liking, commenting, and sharing your posts

If you remain in contact with an ex on social media and they still have feelings for you, you may find that they turn to liking, commenting, and sharing your posts excessively in an effort to get your attention. They will often be the first to interact with anything you post, and they might become upset if they get no reply.

2. Permanent presence online

When your ex is always online after a breakup, and that’s not normal behavior for them, they may be monitoring your social media activity to see what you’re up to or just to maintain a sense of connection. Alternatively, they’re just lonely and are speaking to friends online more than they used to.

3. Use fake accounts to view your profile

We regularly see unsettled exes setting up fake accounts to view social media profiles, especially if their real accounts were blocked post-breakup. If you suddenly start receiving friend requests or follow requests from seemingly fake profiles, this is usually the reason, and it’s best to ignore them.

4. Stalking your friends or family

In addition to finding new ways to follow you, a jealous ex will often turn to stalking your friends or family in the hope that they’ll find out what you’re up to through them. If you’re wondering why your ex is adding your friends on social media, it’s probably because they want to see if you’re doing anything with them.

How to stop your ex from stalking your social media

One of the most effective ways to stop your ex from stalking your social media is to make sure they can’t see it. Block their accounts and use the privacy protections offered by platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat to ensure they can’t view your profile and online status or stalk your location.

Other helpful tips include:

• Ask friends and family to remove and block your ex from their accounts.
• Block their number to prevent unwanted calls and texts.
• Reject friend requests from seemingly fake profiles and people you don’t know.
• Report them to the police, especially if the stalking turns into abuse or harassment.

For help with locking down your social media accounts and using additional privacy protections built into your phone, use Clario’s Anti-spy setup. It’ll walk you through the steps you need to take to protect your data, hide your location, safeguard your media files, and more. Try this:

1. Install Clario Anti Spy and set up an account.
2. Under Anti-spy setup, tap Set up.
3. Tap on each of the sections here and follow the recommended steps for protecting your social media, your device, and your data until each one is complete.

Conclusion

It’s normal to feel worried or scared when you suspect your ex is stalking your social media, but the good news is that you have control over your accounts and your data. Use the tips above to find out if someone is watching you and to stop your ex from watching your profiles.

To make sure you're using social media protections correctly, and to bolster the security on your phone, use Clario’s Anti-spy setup to easily protect yourself with all the privacy features available to you.