We stand with Ukraine to help keep people safe. Join us

Tags Digital Wellness

Ex-Girlfriend Is Stalking New Girlfriend

It’s a classic story: you’ve moved on, she hasn’t. Now your ex-girlfriend is stalking your new partner. It’s a tricky situation, but with the right approach, you can resolve this conflict. Learn the signs of stalking, what motivates your ex’s behavior, and how to smoothly handle the situation — then try Clario’s data breach monitor to protect your data from stalkers and snoops.

Table of contents

What is stalking?

Definition of stalking

Stalking refers to a pattern of unwanted, obsessive, and intrusive behavior that’s directed toward another person. It is a form of harassment where the stalker repeatedly engages in actions that invade the privacy and personal space of their target.

Stalking behaviors can include:

  • Following the person
  • Monitoring their activities
  • Making unasked-for contact through calls, messages, or social media
  • Sending gifts or unwanted messages
  • Spreading rumors or false information
  • Physically or verbally threatening the victim.

Stalking is not only an invasion of privacy but also a serious violation of personal boundaries and can have severe emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical consequences for the victim.

Signs of ex-girlfriend stalking new girlfriend

If you suspect your ex-girlfriend is stalking your new girlfriend, it’s crucial that you make certain of it. It’s a serious accusation, with social and sometimes legal consequences. So before you start pointing fingers, understand the typical behavior of someone who stalks an ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend.


Here are the signs of a stalker ex-girlfriend:

Recognize any of this behavior in your ex? Let’s take a closer look at these signs:  

Spreading rumors about your girlfriend online or offline

If your ex is repeatedly making false claims about your new girlfriend online or offline, it can be considered a form of stalking. Rumors can damage your new girlfriend’s social or professional reputation — or even have you question the new relationship.

Frequently passing by your new girlfriend's house and neighborhood

If your ex is frequently showing up at your new girlfriend’s house or neighborhood, it’s a major red flag for stalking. This can also include your girlfriend's school or workplace. Your ex might be stalking your new girlfriend or monitoring her activities.


If your ex is following all your girlfriend's social media accounts and constantly engaging with the content she posts, it could be a sign of cyberstalking. It’s also possible your ex is tracking your phone to get to your new girlfriend.

Showing up everywhere your girlfriend goes regularly

If your ex keeps running into your new girlfriend, it probably isn’t a coincidence. This behavior is obsessive and indicates that your ex has been keeping tabs on your new girlfriend’s activities and hobbies — possibly through cyberstalking.

Getting the phone number of your new girlfriend and initiating harassing calls

If your ex-girlfriend is harassing a new girlfriend on the phone, it’s a sure sign of stalking. The act is unwanted, obtrusive, and clearly an intimidation tactic on your ex’s part.

Repeated and/or threatening text messages or emails

Just like with phone calls, frequent and threatening text messages or emails indicate stalking. Though since it’s not physical it might seem less like stalking, it isn’t. An ex stalking on Whats App or other forms of communication is harassment and a violation of personal boundaries.

Questioning your new girlfriend to gather information

Sometimes your ex may contact your new girlfriend in a seemingly friendly manner — with the secret motive of digging up info on your new relationship. The information your ex gathers may be used for other forms of stalking.


But she might not just stop there! Stalking can lead to other invasive forms of harassment, like a data breach. A motivated ex can steal personal data, like passwords or financial info. This data can be used further to advance stalking, identity theft, or financial theft.


Clario’s ID theft protection tools can monitor your email address for data breaches 24/7. You’ll get instant alerts when your sensitive data, like passwords, have been accessed.


Here’s how to use the Clario Data breach monitor:

  1. Download Clario and get a subscription to set up an account
  2. On the dashboard, go to Identity
  3. Click Add email, in the Data breach monitor tool
  4. Add your email address and confirm.
  5. If Clario has detected data breaches, immediately follow the on-screen instructions to secure your private information.
  6. Relax — your data is now safe!

Why is your ex-girlfriend stalking your new girlfriend?

It can be difficult to understand why your ex-girlfriend is stalking a new girlfriend. It might be a temporary fixation or something more serious. Whatever the reasons, understanding the motives behind your ex’s behavior is key to resolving the issue.


Here’s why your ex-girlfriend is stalking your new girlfriend:

Let’s dive deeper into the reasons why your ex-girlfriend is stalking your new girlfriend:

The feeling that she can still control your new life

The act of stalking can give your ex a sense of control. By following your girlfriend, monitoring her activities, and using fear and intimidation, your ex might be trying to exert her control over your girlfriend — and ultimately you.

She may be jealous of you for moving on

Your ex’s stalking may have more to do with you than your new girlfriend. Rather than your new partner, your ex might be more envious of the fact that you’ve moved on in general. In this case, the stalking could be an attempt to end the relationship, rather than obsession over the new partner.

Perhaps she has low self-esteem

A breakup can make anyone feel unsure about themselves. For some, stalking an ex’s new girlfriend helps them feel better. If their self-worth has been wounded by the breakup, stalking can give your ex a boost in confidence by believing she has the power to influence your new girlfriend’s decisions and emotions.

She may be angry with you for replacing her

It’s normal to compare yourself with your ex’s new partner, but a stalker ex takes it to an unhealthy level. She may feel a sense of inferiority compared to your new girlfriend, and stalking lets her assert herself. Also, her behavior can also stem from a fear of abandonment and stalking can be a means to reconcile your former relationship.

She may be looking for an answer if she didn't get a precise closure from your relationship

Breakups can be riddled with unanswered questions. If you and your ex parted ways without any real closure, lingering questions might be motivating her behavior. If she is still unsure as to why you both broke up, stalking could be her way to get the information or closure she never got from the breakup process.

How to handle an ex-girlfriend in this situation?

Though her behavior is off-putting, how you deal with a stalker ex is crucial. Your ex is going through a lot of turmoil, and she could be dangerous to others and herself. Dealing with the situation in the right manner will ensure that everyone is safe, and may result in an amicable resolution.  


Here’s how to handle a stalking ex-girlfriend:

Take a break from social media for a while

Although it’s tempting to defend against the rumor-spreading and obsessive behavior of a cyberstalking ex, the best strategy might be to ignore it. After all, your ex is clearly trying to get your attention — so don’t engage. A stalking incident can put a strain on you and your new girlfriend, so log out for a while and focus on each other.

Take the stalking seriously

Though sometimes it can seem silly, stalking can escalate into more obsessive and coercive behavior. It can have severe consequences for you, your new girlfriend, and your ex. Take stalking seriously from the beginning and try to de-escalate the situation before it gets worse.

Be self-confident and calm

A confident and calm approach to a volatile situation can make a world of difference — for you and others involved. Stalking stems from unhealthy emotional and obsessive behavior. Repricoating these emotions can escalate the situation. A cool demeanor will ensure that you’re thinking clearly and will assure your new girlfriend too.

Check your state stalking laws

Stalking laws vary according to your location, so first research what kind of behavior is illegal in your area. It may seem like an extreme step, but you don’t know what your ex is experiencing mentally — don't take chances. Besides protecting you and your new girlfriend, the proper authorities will assist your ex in getting the help she might need.


Whether it’s from your ex or someone else, stalking is a major invasion of privacy. These days, it’s never been easier for attackers to access or steal your personal data for stalking or a data breach. Clario’s ID theft protection will monitor your email address 24/7 for breaches. We'll instantly alert you on leaks of your passwords, credit card number, phone number, or SSNs.

Keep reading

Stop stalkers from stealing your data.

Get started