Table of contents
- Reasons why abusers pursue their exes
- Signs that your abusive ex is stalking you
- 1. Unwanted phone calls and emails
- 2. Threats to you and your loved ones
- 3. Tracking your place of work or residence
- 4. Inadequate approaches and confrontations
- 5. Physical attack or violence
- 6. Refuses to leave you alone
- 7. Spreading rumors about you
- 8. Damage to your property
- 9. Share your personal information with other people
- What you can do if your abusive ex is stalking you
- Conclusion
Reasons why abusers pursue their exes
Is your ex stalking you? Abusive individuals stalk their exes for various reasons, including:
- Insecurity
- Possessiveness
- Manipulating you
- Humiliating you online
- Justice if they feel wronged
- Revenge if they feel rejected
- Jealousy if you have moved on
- Destroying your reputation online
- Exerting power and control over you
- Getting your attention to open the lines of communication
Signs that your abusive ex is stalking you
Clues your ex is stalking you:
- Unwanted phone calls and emails
- Threats to you and your loved ones
- Tracking your place of work or residence
- Inadequate approaches and confrontations
- Physical attack or violence
- Refuses to leave you alone
- Spreading rumors about you
- Damage to your property
- Share your personal information with other people
The signs listed above constitute common signs of stalking personality and behavior. They can help you determine if your ex is harassing you. However, there’s a more effective method to determine if your ex monitors you.
Phone surveillance is one of the simplest ways an abusive ex can stalk you, particularly if they’ve had access to your phone. If your ex mentions details revealed in private conversations or suspiciously shows up where you are, chances are they’re tracking your phone.
Use Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan to determine whether your ex is monitoring your online activity. Clario Anti Spy will find hidden spying tools on your mobile device and desktop.
Here’s how to scan your device for spyware with Clario Anti Spy:
- Download Clario Anti Spy and create an account.
- Select Spyware scan and hit the Run deep scan button to initiate the scan.
- Follow the prompts to remove any threats Clario Anti Spy finds.
1. Unwanted phone calls and emails
Going “no contact” with an abusive ex-partner is usually the best way to protect your peace. However, they may continue to reach out via unsolicited calls and emails. For instance, if you’re going through a divorce, your soon-to-be ex-husband or ex-wife may continuously contact you if they don’t want to move forward with it or aren’t happy with the terms of your divorce. If you block them on one platform, they will most definitely find another way to keep texting or calling.
Tip
If you feel exhausted because of the emotional abuse rollercoaster your ex has taken you on, take immediate action to cut access to you completely. Unfortunately, there are two main obstacles: blocking emails directly from a phone and preventing calls from auto-generated numbers. However, to protect your peace, you can block an email from a web browser on your laptop and silence unknown numbers on your phone.
2. Threats to you and your loved ones
Abusive individuals tend to act out when they lose control over you or your relationship. That can sometimes lead them to threaten your life, the lives of your loved ones, or threaten to take their own life to manipulate you. They do this to scare you into doing what they want, like getting back together or having access to you.
Tip
Your goal is to go under the radar until the threat is over. They will eventually stop trying if they don’t know where you are and how to access you. If you suspect your ex might be tracking your location, check out our Virtual location feature. It hides your phone’s location and lets you choose any pinpoint in the world so that your phone reflects that instead of your actual whereabouts.
3. Tracking your place of work or residence
Abusive former partners don’t limit their behavior to ex stalking online; they may escalate it to confronting you in person. If they know where you live or work, they may show up announced, demanding to see and speak with you and possibly causing a scene.
4. Inadequate approaches and confrontations
Initiating a break-up can be risky for victims, as abusive people’s behavior can be unpredictable and dangerous. Your ex can track you down, approach you in public and demand answers, or coerce you into leaving with them to talk privately. However, obliging could place you in danger, as chatting to them privately would give them the upper hand. Additionally, there’s no telling what they might do in the absence of onlookers.
5. Physical attack or violence
Abusers are not exempt from repeating their behavior. Unfortunately, your ex may continue to abuse you even after you’ve left them. Therefore, an ex showing violence or physically attacking you is a dangerous stalker, and you are not safe around them.
6. Refuses to leave you alone
Your ex continuously contacts you and shows up where you are, no matter how often you’ve told them to stop and leave you alone. This is a sign they’re obsessed with you. In such cases, there’s no reasoning with an abuser, as they refuse to respect your boundaries and let you be.
7. Spreading rumors about you
One of the ways abusers get your attention is by spreading rumors about you. They do this as a means of control and manipulation, hoping you’ll reach out to them about the rumors. If you do, they may bargain with you to either take them back or keep all communication lines open in exchange for them putting an end to the rumor mill.
8. Damage to your property
Damaging your property is another way for an abuser to get your attention. It enables them to scare or intimidate you and wield their power over you. However, damaging your property is a sign of an unhinged individual, and their behavior will most likely escalate.
Tip
If that has already happened or you’re worried it might, give your building security the photo of the person to look out for or warn your neighbors.
9. Share your personal information with other people
Abusive exes sometimes aim to get your attention by frustrating or upsetting you. One way they can achieve this is by sharing your personal information with other people, such as your cell phone number and email address. For example, they may post these details on social media and instruct their followers to harass you, which violates your privacy and constitutes cyberstalking.
What you can do if your abusive ex is stalking you
Tell your loved ones about your situation. Stay safe by sharing a code word with your friends and family and sending it to them when you encounter your ex. It should prompt them to contact law enforcement on your behalf. Never go out alone or use the same routes to and from your home, workplace, or gym. Install a robust security system in your home. Finally, ensure you have a support system you can rely on to help you manage the emotional impact of dealing with your stalker’s behavior.
Conclusion
He dumped you but stalks you? Stalking incidents need to be taken seriously, especially when an abusive ex is involved. Use the tips in this article to identify the signs of an abusive stalker ex and what to do about it. More importantly, empower yourself by learning if your abuser is monitoring your phone. Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan tells you if your phone contains spying threats, which your abuser can use to view your location and read your private conversations.
