My Ex Is Stalking My Friends

Why is your ex stalking your friends

Your ex can stalk you because they continue to have feelings for you or find it difficult to cope with the breakup. Unfortunately, their actions may also spiral into stalking your friends online or in person.

Here's why your ex is stalking your friends:

• You've blocked your ex on social media: Social media is a haven for any stalker, including your former partner, to spy on you. If you've blocked them on platforms like Instagram or Facebook, they might stalk your friends' accounts instead for any clues about you.
• Your ex doesn't want you to know they are stalking you: If your ex has concerns about getting caught stalking you, they could instead monitor your friends to stay under the radar.
• Your ex wants to stay connected to you indirectly: They may feel lonely or regret splitting up, so they could stalk your friends to create a false sense of connection.
• You've cut your ex out completely: If your ex has no way of knowing what you're up to, they might stalk your friends to get information about you.
• Your ex wants to confirm how you are doing post-breakup: Your ex might be curious to know if you've moved on, dating someone new, or coping emotionally.
• Your ex has mental health issues: Anxiety, depression, or compulsive disorders could push your ex into stalking you and your friends.
• Your ex wants to reconcile with you: An obsessive ex might attempt to rekindle their relationship with you through your friends.

Signs of your ex stalking your friends

You can confirm if your ex stalks your friends by looking for tell-tale signs on and off social media.

Here are the signs your ex is stalking your friends:

• Your ex is frequently active on social media: Your ex could try to monitor your friends' social media updates to deduce what's happening in your life—frequent likes, comments, or story views can be a red flag.
• Your ex is invading your social circle: Your ex is attempting to make friends with acquaintances they didn't have any relationships with before.
• Your ex keeps "running" into your friends: Your ex shows up at places where your friends hang out despite having no reason to be there.
• Your friends talk about your ex: Your friends mention that your ex always asks about you—how you're doing, where you're going, and what you're doing.
• Your ex harasses your friends: Your ex may send unsolicited messages, make phone calls, or pester your friends for information about you in other ways.
• Your ex knows what you are up to: If your ex seems to know a lot about you despite cutting off all contact, they could get the information through your friends.

Clario Anti Spy is a security solution that helps you root out spyware, stalkerware, and other malicious apps from Android and iOS devices. A Spyware scan can quickly show if your ex is spying through your phone.

Here's how to run a Spyware Scan on your phone with Clario Anti Spy:

1. Install Clario Anti Spy and subscribe to create an account.
2. Select Run under Spyware Scan.
3. Go through the scan report and remove any malicious apps.

Clario Anti Spy also does a lot more, such as monitoring your phone in real-time for security vulnerabilities, warning you about email and password breaches, and detecting jailbreak exploits on iOS devices. It even works on PCs and Macs and offers 24/7 access to security experts.

Is it dangerous that your ex is stalking your friends

Yes, stalking is dangerous. It indicates disregard for others' boundaries, causes psychological trauma in victims, and puts people in harm's way.

Indicates disregard for boundaries

Stalking signals an emotionally immature personality that doesn't respect other people's boundaries. For instance, if your ex is currently only monitoring your friends on social media, the next step would be to stalk them in person.

Impacts mental well-being

A stalker's actions are unpredictable. There's no way to know when, where, or how they would show up, let alone what they might do. The situation with your stalking ex is no different and could seriously affect the mental well-being of you and any close friends they target.

Creates trust issues

You might start to wonder if any of your friends could intentionally share information about you with your ex. This doubt creates trust issues and strains relationships, even with close confidantes.

Keep in mind that an ex with manipulative tendencies might be trying to isolate you socially.

Puts your friends in harm's way

Stalking may appear harmless at first, but it can quickly become aggressive or violent when the stalker doesn't get their way. Your ex might harass your friends, physically threaten them, or even carry out their threats.

How to act when your ex is stalking your friend

If you are sure your ex is stalking your friends, you must take action before their behavior escalates.

Set firm boundaries with your ex

Send your ex a clear signal that you have no feelings for them. If they send you gifts, do not accept them. If they message you on social media, block them. That might make your ex understand that any attempts to reconcile with you won't work and—hopefully—put an end to their stalking.

Talk to friends and family

The more people know what your ex is up to, the less chance they have to spy, manipulate, and harass others. Talk to your friends—and even your family—and get as many of them as you can on the same page. You should:

• Focus on the dangers of stalking so your friends can stay vigilant.
• Explain how your ex behaves so they can know what to expect.
• Request that they block your ex on social media.
• Ask your friends to avoid posting about you on social media or share details if they encounter your ex.
• Suggest that they enable anti-stalker settings on social media—like switching Instagram to private—and avoid friend requests from unknown accounts.

Cut out bad friends

Not all friends have your best interests at heart. If you think a mutual acquaintance might share details about your life, distance yourself from them. Your safety and privacy should be your priority. Trust your instincts, but don't let your ex manipulate you.

Have a safety plan

Create a safety plan with your friends so everyone knows what to do if your ex starts harassing them in person. It could include:

• Avoiding locations your ex expects you or your friends to be.
• Using the buddy system while traveling.
• Changing routes to make it harder for your ex to predict movements.
• Identifying safe places in the community where you or your friends can go.
• Having a list of emergency contacts, including family, friends, and the police.
• Having a safe word or phrase that can quickly alert others when in danger.
• Carrying self-defense tools like pepper spray in case your ex physically threatens people.
• Documenting all stalking incidents if you plan on involving law enforcement.

Get your ex professional help

Your ex might need medical help if mental issues are at play. If they have a history of depression or personality disorders, warn any mutual friends or your ex's family so that they can get the necessary assistance.

Get a restraining order

Stalking is illegal in most countries, so don't hesitate to get help from law enforcement if your ex ramps up their behavior. Restraining orders and other legal measures can protect you and your friends from physical harm.

Conclusion

Breakups are tough, but they don't justify stalking. If your ex is stalking you or your friends, you must act to stop their behavior. Communicate with your friends, set firm boundaries with your ex, and contact law enforcement if the stalking continues.

Remember that your ex could also be spying on you. A security solution like Clario Anti Spy can protect you from any spyware your ex might use to monitor you through your personal devices.