My Girlfriend Still Stalks Her Ex

Signs that your girlfriend still stalking her ex

If your girlfriend’s constantly monitoring her ex’s social and becomes aggressive, abusive, or weird when you bring it up, then she’s probably stalking her ex. But that’s not all. Some common signs of a stalker girlfriend include:

1. Talking about him often: If she’s always talking about her ex, especially without any clear reason, she might still have lingering thoughts or feelings about their past.
2. Comparing you to him: She often compares your actions, habits, or qualities to those of her ex? That’s a bright red flag. It could be a sign she’s still passionate about their relationship.
3. Staying in touch with his friends or family: Maintaining close ties with her ex's social circle might suggest she’s using these connections to keep tabs on him.
4. Getting emotional about his new relationships: If she shows signs of jealousy or upset when her ex moves on or starts something romantic with someone new, then it could indicate confused or obsessed feelings for her ex.
5. Frequent visits to places they used to go together: Do they go back to places they went to while in their past relationship? Are these visits frequent and made alone? Then you might be right to worry.
6. Secretive behavior with her phone or computer: If she’s overly protective or secretive about her devices, it could mean she’s hiding texts and calls with her ex or tracking his activities with stalker apps.

These actions may be a sign of an unhealthy obsession and show that she’s unable to let go of the past relationship. It's important to address and talk about these signs early on to prevent further damage to your current relationship.

Why some women stalk their exes

It's important to remember that breakups can be incredibly painful and that the healing process takes time. This creates several reasons for your girlfriend to fixate on an ex-boyfriend.

Reasons why some women stalk their exes include:

• Lack of closure
• Low self-esteem
• Hurt
• Control/obsession
• Love (unresolved feelings)
• PTSD/OCD

For more insight on these motives, check out our article on the female stalker.

What does it mean for your relationship when your girlfriend stalks her ex

When your girlfriend is obsessed with her ex, you may feel as though you're in a never-ending competition with a ghost. There'd be flare-ups, trust issues, and angst. You could feel unimportant and uneasy in this circumstance. These are all valid reactions to this discovery.

However, it's important to address your girlfriend's behavior right away. We'll show you how.

What you can do if your girlfriend is stalking her ex

It's tough to watch your girlfriend fixate on someone else. Just the thought of it is unsettling. However, here's the thing: you can't control her actions, but you can control how you approach the situation.

Here are some steps you can take when your gf is stalking her ex:

1. Have an open conversation: First, pick a calm moment and have an honest talk about the whole situation. Express your concerns. Let her know how her behavior is making you feel. Be clear and direct, but avoid accusatory language.
2. Set boundaries: Discuss what is acceptable and what isn’t. If certain behaviors, like constantly checking her ex's social media, are causing problems, communicate your boundaries. Maybe you agree with them blocking their ex on socials, limiting social media scrolling, or only talking about the ex when absolutely necessary.
3. Consider couples therapy: Sometimes, a neutral third party can help you two open up and resolve your issues. That’s if you still want the relationship. They can provide tools to help your girlfriend deal with jealousy and insecurity. And help you rebuild trust in the relationship.
4. Seek professional help for her: If her stalking persists or worse still, escalates, it might be time for her to seek therapy on her own. A therapist or support group can help her understand the reasons behind her actions and develop healthier coping mechanisms for her emotional baggage.
5. Leave: If all fails, then you might have no other option than to cut your losses. An ex-obsessed partner is not a joking matter, especially when they show no signs of improvement.
6. Protect yourself: In some cases, obsessive patterns like this can suddenly turn violent. They may resent the fact that you are trying to keep them away from their ex, and may even try to take it out on you. Protect yourself. Educate yourself about stalking, its different forms, and how to stop online stalking.

Pack a go bag if you have/decide to leave suddenly, and install a location spoofer so your girlfriend can’t track you when you do.

Clario Anti Spy’s Virtual location feature lets you hide your real GPS location on your device.

Follow these steps to use Clario Anti Spy’s Virtual location tool:

1. Download Clario Anti Spy and create an account.
2. Open the app and click on Virtual location.
3. Follow the on-screen instructions to connect your phone to your computer.
4. Launch the desktop version of Clario Anti Spy.
5. Click on Virtual location and set your phone into Developer mode as instructed.
6. Once completed, Clario Anti Spy will display a map where you can choose your virtual location anywhere in the world.

Final thoughts

You deserve a secure and loving relationship. So, while your girlfriend might have misguided reasons for stalking her ex, never forget that this is not how a normal relationship should be. Do the best you can to talk things through and salvage the situation.

PS: If you’re curious about what happens when the script is flipped, check out our article: Do guys stalk their exes on social media.