My Girlfriend’s Ex Is Stalking Her

How stalking affects relationships

Stalking can have negative implications on the mental health of victims and their partners. The idea that someone constantly trying to get in touch or maybe even watching you can jeopardize the emotional balance of a relationship. It triggers safety concerns that drive anxiety issues.

If your girlfriend's ex is stalking her, you're in it together. So, understanding what this might do to your relationships is crucial:

• Fear of being constantly monitored or followed may cause anxiety issues in both the victim and the partner.
• Communication with your girlfriend may suffer, undermining the foundation of your relationship.
• Safety concerns often force couples to relocate or change their lifestyles.

Sometimes stalkers go as far as installing spying apps on their victim's devices. If you fear your girlfriend's phone might be compromised, download Clario Anti Spy. It offers features for both Android and iOS that can help boost your digital safety.

For Android, use Clario's Anti Spy Spyware scan feature. It performs a total scan of your phone, looking for spyware apps that could be installed without you knowing. It will also go through suspicious app permissions and alert you of any.

Here's how to use Spyware scan on Android:

1. Install Clario Anti Spy and set up an account.
2. Click on Spyware scan to launch the feature. It will start scanning for malicious software.
3. Check the results. If the app detected spyware or suspicious permissions, it will indicate those.

For iOS, use Clario's Anti Spy Device system check feature. By scanning your operating system, it ensures it's running on the latest version with all security patches in place. Furthermore, it will help you identify whether you iPhone is jailbroken or not.

Here's how to start with Device system check on iOS:

1. Install Clario Anti Spy and set up an account.
2. Under Device system check, click Scan.
3. Check the results. If your iOS device hasn't been updated or has been jailbroken, the app will indicate it after the scan.

Reasons why your girlfriend's ex might be stalking her

Oftentimes, ex-partners who have difficulties dealing with breakups and ultimately resort to stalking have deeply rooted and unresolved emotional or psychological issues.  

1. Psychological factors behind stalking behavior

Some theories of stalking indicate a link between vulnerable narcissism and stalking. For a narcissist, stalking can be a way to regain control over their ex-partner. This mindset can manifest in:

• Disregarding your girlfriend's request to stop contacting her.
• Manipulating with expensive gifts just to trigger a response.
• Spreading false information about her to get revenge.

Spotting narcissist stalking signs early on might give you an idea of what you're dealing with and how to proceed with this type of stalker.

2. Obsessive attachment and emotional dependency

Breakups can be too hard to deal with for individuals with detachment issues or obsessive tendencies. An unhealthy attachment to a partner can lead to:

• Lingering post-breakup emotions (unrequited love or resentment) may translate into a fixation on your girlfriend.
• Anger and fear of being forgotten can drive irrational behaviors, resulting in stalking.

Obsessive attachment is dangerous as it can sometimes escalate into physical actions. For more info on obsessive behavior, see these examples of stalking cases.

3. Fear of loss and control issues

Wishing to regain control, your girlfriend's ex may:

• Monitor her online activity to stay informed of what's going on in her life. Learn how to address this by reading our piece on how to stop online stalking.
• Appear in places where your is at to maintain a presence in her life.
• Manipulate or intimidate her using threats or emotional blackmail to control her decisions.

How to identify warning signs that your girlfriend’s ex is stalking her

To identify warning signs of stalking, you need to know where and what to look for. We have two powerful tips for you.

1. Unwanted communication and social media monitoring

If your girlfriend's ex repeatedly sends her unwanted texts, emails, or tries to reach her through social media even after she blocked him, this is a huge red flag. If you suspect your girlfriend still stalks her ex, the first warning sign may be her being secretive about her online interactions.

2. Physical presence and escalating behavior

Notice your girlfriend's ex often appears at places you visit? This may indicate physical stalking, which means that the stalker's obsession is escalating. Their next move may be threatening or intimidating.

How to support your girlfriend if her ex is stalking her

If your girlfriend's ex is stalking her, keep in mind that it can be deeply troubling for her, so be ready to exude empathy and unwavering support.  

1. Open communication and setting boundaries

Calmly and honestly talk to your girlfriend about the situation and the boundaries you shouldnät allow the stalker to cross. Find a way to deal with her ex that is emotionally comfortable for both of you.

2. Ensuring emotional safety

Express your concerns in a way that she knows she's safe so she can share her feelings. Use phrases like:

• "I've noticed [specific behavior]. How does that make you feel?"
• "Do you think your ex is crossing boundaries, and how can I help?"

3. Seeking professional help: therapy and legal advice

If the ex doesn't quit stalking, this may be a sign to obtain a protective order. Also, therapy can provide your girlfriend with a powerful source of strength necessary to deal with this situation.

How to protect your girlfriend from her stalking ex

Think about how you can protect your girlfriend as soon as stalking signs appear and you notice she’s worried about it. Here's how you should act:

• Document unwanted behavior and consult with law enforcement if necessary.
• Keep your details (like your whereabouts) off social media.  
• Block and report the stalker on all social media platforms and communication channels.
• Adjust privacy settings on your girlfriend's profiles to limit what the ex can see.
• Use tools like Clario Anti Spy to detect and remove spyware.

Conclusion

When your girlfriend's ex is stalking her, it affects you both. Sticking together is probably the most important thing you can do to protect your girlfriend and your relationship. An actionable safety plan and robust digital security are your best allies in these challenging circumstances. Use Clario Anti Spy's Spyware scan for unmatched protection today and ensure privacy protection for both of you.