Table of contents
- What Is BPD?
- How a person with BPD acts in a relationship
- Why BPD stalking ex
- 1. Extraordinary jealousy
- 2. Fear of abandonment
- 3. BPD splitting
- What to do if your ex with BPD stalking you
- 1. Contact law enforcement agencies
- 2. Don't answer their calls
- 3. Make your social media accounts private
- 4. Tell people what's going on
- 5. Do not confront your stalker
- Conclusion
What Is BPD?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition and chronic personality disorder that affects how people view themselves and others and their ability to function on a day-to-day basis and manage social relationships. Also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD), BPD is characterized by emotional dysfunction and instability, impulsiveness, and an unhealthy view of oneself and others.
Your ex broke up with you but stalks you? They may be living with BPD. If you dated them for a while, chances are they had access to your phone at some point. Since they have BPD, their emotional fluctuations may have led them to monitor your phone. Fortunately, you don’t have to wonder.
With Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan, you can find out once and for all if your ex installed spying software on your mobile device. Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan checks the nooks and crannies of your phone for signs of spying and empowers you to remove spying threats within minutes.
Follow this approach to check if your ex is monitoring your Android phone with spyware:
- Download Clario Anti Spy and create an account.
- Tap Spyware scan, followed by Run deep scan, and remove any threats Clario Anti Spy finds by following the prompts.
Follow these steps to check if your ex is monitoring your iPhone with spyware:
- Download Clario Anti Spy on your laptop or PC and create an account.
- Click Mobile scanner and connect your iPhone.
- Hit Scan my phone.
- If Clario Anti Spy finds spyware on your phone, follow the on-screen instructions to get rid of it.
How a person with BPD acts in a relationship
A person with BPD doesn’t want you to abandon them. However, they may break up with you abruptly when they feel neglected, though they may feel guilty about it afterward. Additionally, they may view you in extremes, like overestimating your positive qualities at times and exaggerating your negative qualities in other instances, which can be difficult and frustrating to navigate.
Why BPD stalking ex
Someone with BPD may pursue an ex due to the fear of abandonment or being alone. Another reason is jealousy, as they want you to themselves or if they weren’t ready to end the relationship. The final reason is splitting, which can lead them to believe you’re perfect and no one else can make them happy.
There are several reasons why your ex is stalking you. In the following sections, we’ll unpack each of the reasons listed below to help you better understand your BPD ex’s actions.
The reasons for your BPD ex’s stalking behavior include:
1. Extraordinary jealousy
Believe it or not, your ex with BPD can become jealous of you, even if they initiated the breakup. This jealousy can cause them to start stalking you, like showing up at your workplace, gym, and home.
2. Fear of abandonment
After ending your relationship, your ex with BPD may start to feel lonely and abandoned by you, regardless of who called it quits. These feelings are heightened when you implement boundaries and stop talking to them, causing them to feel despondent and resort to harassment.
3. BPD splitting
BPD splitting occurs when a person with BPD has an all-or-nothing attitude or black-and-white view of you. Instead of seeing you as you are, a whole being with positive traits and areas of development, they view you as all good or all bad. Therefore, your ex-lover with BPD can suddenly view you as perfect in their eyes, causing them to want you back. However, if you’ve cut all communication with them, they may resort to stalking or harassing you or your loved ones to get you back.
What to do if your ex with BPD stalking you
Fortunately, there’s hope when your BPD ex is stalking you. In the section below, we’ll guide you on how to prevent cyberstalking so you can have some peace of mind.
Implementing the following measures may help you manage your BPD ex harassing you:
- Contact law enforcement agencies
- Don't answer the calls
- Make your social media accounts private
- Tell people what's going on
- Do not confront your stalker
1. Contact law enforcement agencies
A person with BPD’s emotional instability is a cause for concern and makes them highly unpredictable. For this reason, you must report your ex to your local law enforcement agencies so they may be able to warn or take action against them.
2. Don't answer their calls
Your ex may have no sense of boundaries when experiencing anxiety, causing them to call you incessantly. Ignoring their calls is the best thing to do in this case. Hopefully, they’ll get the hint and give up.
3. Make your social media accounts private
Stalking doesn’t only occur when someone physically monitors you or calls your phone non-stop. Keeping track of a person’s social media activity is also one of the signs of a stalker. Therefore, you must make your social media profiles private to prevent your former boyfriend or girlfriend from commenting on your social media posts or following you with ghost accounts.
4. Tell people what's going on
Going through a stalking situation in isolation is not advisable. You need all the support you can get during times like these. Therefore, consider bringing your loved ones up to speed on what you’re experiencing.
5. Do not confront your stalker
There’s no telling what your former lover may do next if they have BPD, especially if they’re showing signs of being a narcissist stalker. For this reason, confronting them is risky, as they can retaliate, especially if their emotions are high. Avoid all contact and report your interactions with them to the police.
Tip
Keeping a record of all your interactions with your ex can help you get a protection order or file a criminal case with the police. Document everything, including calls, run-ins, text messages, and emails, and show it to the police if you feel threatened by your ex.
Conclusion
The mental strain that comes with dealing with a partner with BDP doesn’t always end after you’ve left the relationship. Knowing what BPD is and how it affects relationships can help you understand why your former flame is stalking you. Use Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan to learn if your ex is monitoring your phone and remove the threats as needed.