Do Guys Stalk Their Exes on Social Media

What is stalking on social media?

Stalking on social media can refer to any kind of obsessive monitoring or interaction with someone’s social media activity, including:

• Profiles
• Posts
• Pictures and videos
• Comments
• Any other online content.

Social media stalkers seek information about their victims’ everyday lives, including their physical location, who they interact with, and any new romantic relationships.

An ex who stalks your social media can use various methods to get information about you. Let’s take a look at some preferred methods:

What methods of social media stalking do these guys prefer?

A guy who stalks on social media may use a variety of methods—it all depends on their intent and the tools they have available. Here are some common methods of stalking:

• Silent surveillance: These stalkers constantly watch over the social media presence of their ex for information about their lives, interests, and relationships. They could be surveilling one or all of their ex’s various social media accounts.
• Creating fake accounts:  Some stalkers create fake social media accounts to follow or directly interact with their ex. A fake account helps hide a stalker's true identity and may help him gain access to private info if they were blocked by their ex.
• Using friends or family: If a stalker is still in contact with the friends or family of their ex, he could use these relationships to gather information about their ex. The stalker can even secretly stalk these friends or family members just to learn about their ex.
• Fear and intimidation: Some stalkers will outright scare their exes with intimidating messages and posts or by spreading lies and rumors online. They may also interact with their ex’s social media contacts as a means of controlling who their ex communicates with.

Using these methods, your ex could also get personal information, like login details of your social media accounts. To protect against crazy exes, hackers, and other snoops, use a dedicated security app, like Clario’s AntiSpy, to lock down your accounts and other private information.

Clario’s AntiSpy features a suite of powerful security tools that work in synergy to protect all your devices and data from spying. It features data breach detection tools, antivirus scans for malware and safe browsing to block ads and trackers. Clario AntiSpy works on mobile (iOS, Android) and desktop (Windows, Mac).

How to know if someone is being stalked by an ex on social media?

Exes mostly stalk silently on social media, so it’s not always obvious if you’ve been targeted. Still, even if you do recognize social media activity that seems like stalking, the issue is complex. Is your ex stalking or just being friendly or nosy?

It’s important to understand your personal boundaries and recognize when they’ve been violated when you’re potentially dealing with a stalker ex.

If you feel your ex has crossed a line, you should communicate it. And if they continue to engage in similar behavior, report and block them on your social media accounts. If the harassment continues off of an online platform, look into getting local authorities involved.

Why are guys looking at their ex on social media?

Often guys look at their ex on social media for the same reasons women do. As long as it’s not stalking, looking up an old flame on social media is common. According to a study from The University of Western Ontario, 88.2% of participants “creeped” on their ex’s Facebook profile after a breakup.

But the devil is in the details. Though it’s a common occurrence, the reason why your ex is looking at your social media is important. There’s a fine line between harmless curiosity and obsession.

Here are some reasons why guys look at their ex on social media:

• Unhealthy curiosity
• Desire to control
• Wounded ego
• Anger
• Inability to deal with rejection
• Obsession
• Fantasy
• Mental illness

Let’s delve deeper into this behavior:

Unhealthy curiosity

Curiosity about an ex is normal, but an impulse to know everything about their life is not. Guys with an unhealthy curiosity will use social media to gather information about an ex’s day-to-day life, including where they are, who they socialize with, and who they are dating.

Desire to control

Stalkers have an inherent desire for control, and a breakup can leave them totally helpless. They can regain a sense of control over an ex by monitoring and influencing their social media presence. This may also be true if your ex still has you on WhatsApp or other forms of contact outside of social media.

Wounded ego

It never feels good to be dumped—especially if your ex is on the rebound with another partner. If a guy’s ego is wounded, he may use stalking as a way to build back his confidence. He may compare himself with an ex’s new partner. Or use intimidation (towards an ex or their contacts) to feel better about himself.

Anger

As the saying goes: “hurt people hurt people.” A breakup may leave a guy hurt and angry and lead him to stalking as a way to strike back at an ex and, perhaps, even a new partner.

Inability to deal with rejection

Some people just can’t handle “no.” If a guy is unable to deal with rejection, he may use stalking as a coping mechanism to regain a sense of power or control over their ex. They may also use social media to keep a constant connection or influence over their ex.

Obsession

Stalking is inherently obsessive, involving repetitive behavior and thinking. How this obsession plays out depends on the individual situation. Sometimes, it’s emotionally driven by an object of desire: the ex. Other times it’s about control over an ex’s life. Many times, it’s about both.

Fantasy

Fantasy can help shape and fuel a stalker’s behavior. It can enable a guy to evade reality and live in a fantasy in which their relationship—and stalking— is normal. Or it can reinforce false beliefs about themselves or their ex, which leads to justifying their stalking.

Mental illness

Unfortunately, mental illness plays a role in a lot of stalking behavior. Certain psychological disorders like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), borderline personality disorder (BPD), and other disorders that lead to delusional thinking may lead to a guy stalking their ex, especially if their mental condition is worsened from a bad breakup.  

Signs an ex is trying to get attention on social media

Are you getting the sneaking feeling that your ex is reaching out to you on social media? It’s hard to read the motivations of an ex, and their unusual behavior may seem like it’s all in your head. But chances are, it’s not.

Here are signs your ex is trying to get your attention on social media:  

• Finds and adds you on every platform
• Unfollows you and then re-follows
• Likes or comments on your photos
• Always looks through your stories
• Accidentally “likes” an old post
• Posts content they know you’ll react to

Recognize any of this behavior in your ex? It’s always good to give him the benefit of the doubt. But you know your (former) relationship better than us. Let’s explore each of these signs a little closer:

Finds and adds you on every platform

If you’re suddenly getting friend requests or new followers from your ex, you’ll definitely take note. And that’s possibly what he wants you to do. Sure, it’s possible that he moved on, and he wants to keep things friendly between the two of you. Or the sudden outburst to reach out could be a way to seek your attention.

Unfollows you and then re-followed

It’s possible your ex unfollowed you, gained some perspective on your former relationship, then decided to re-follow. Or perhaps they unfollowed you, then immediately re-followed you. The latter is a cheap attempt to say: “notice me!”

Likes or comments on your photos

Let’s face it: everyone notices when they get “likes” or comments on social media, and your ex may be using that fact for his own intentions. If your ex “likes” or comments on all your photos, it’s a sure sign that he’s paying attention to you—and he wants you to know it.

Always looks through your stories

Unlike other forms of posts, you can see who looks at your Instagram and Facebook stories. Your ex may use that fact to get your attention. Besides the frequency of the views, take note at how fast he views your story after you post it. It could be one of the telltale signs your ex is stalking you on Facebook or Instagram.

Accidentally “likes” an old post

An ex interacting with your newer posts and stories can just be the social media algorithms doing their job—but older posts are a different story. If you are getting “likes” on old posts, your ex might be digging through your profile to find new ways of getting your attention.

Posts content they know you’ll react to

Like it or not, your ex probably knows a thing or two about what makes you tick. If he’s posting content that he knows you’ll react to—either positively or negatively—it may be a ploy to get you to notice him.

Conclusion

An ex stalking social media is just one of the many forms of online privacy breaches. You also have to look out for hackers and snoops trying to get into your device and steal your personal data, like passwords and financial information. Clario’s AntiSpy is created by cybersecurity experts to combat digital spying and stalking.

Our dedicated online security app is designed to protect your calls, messages, location, contact list, photos and videos, and more from unauthorized access. The iOS and Android version will scan and monitor your online accounts for data breaches, plus they feature anti-spy protection to reduce threats. Try Clario’s AntiSpy now for iOS, Android, Mac, and Windows devices.