Ex-Boyfriend Is Stalking Me

Why do exes stalk?

If you’ve got a stalker ex-boyfriend, you probably want to know why. Why is your ex stalking you when he has a girlfriend, or it’s been several years, or you think he should have moved on?

There are a few common reasons that might lead to your ex-boyfriend stalking you:

• He wants to control you—this is particularly common in the aftermath of abusive relationships.
• He’s jealous of your new life—whether you’ve got a new relationship, home, or job, he might resent that.
• He’s angry about the breakup and wants revenge.
• He has mental health issues that mean he fixates and obsesses on things or people.
• He has confused beliefs about relationships—maybe he thinks stalking is a way to get you to fall in love with him.

It’s important to remember, though, that none of these reasons are your fault. You’re not responsible for your stalker ex-boyfriend, and you deserve to be safe.

Signs that your ex-boyfriend is stalking you

There might be some signs your ex is stalking you.

Things you might notice if your ex-boyfriend is stalking you:

• You often see him unexpectedly when you’re out and about. This is particularly likely to be a sign of stalking if he’s coming to your workplace or happens to be in your neighborhood when there’s no reason for him to be.
• You notice people watching your home. Maybe there’s an unusual car outside your house a lot, or you see someone looking into your apartment from a neighboring building.
• He asks your friends what you’re doing. It’s not unusual to have mutual friends in a marriage or serious relationship, and it can be hard for them to take sides after a breakup. But it could be suspicious if your ex asks your friends about your regular activity.
• You get unknown friend requests or see him following your active social media accounts. If he broke up with you but still checks your social media, be careful what you share.
• You receive anonymous or threatening phone calls. These could be from your stalker ex-boyfriend or his friends or family.
• You notice unauthorized logins or password reset attempts on your online accounts. If he knows your passwords, he can access your accounts—but even if he doesn’t, he might try to reset the account data to get in.
• He knows things about your life that you haven’t told him. Maybe friends are relaying information, or he’s following you on social media. Alternatively, it could be a sign that he’s installed spyware on your computer or mobile devices and can see what you’re doing.
• You notice suspicious apps on your phone, or your phone is regularly recording audio or video unexpectedly. These could be signs of spyware installed by your stalker ex-boyfriend.

If you’re worried that your ex has installed spyware on your phone, Clario Anti Spy can help.

If you use an Android phone, the Spyware scan can check your phone for any apps that might report back to your ex-boyfriend, allowing you to easily remove them and regain your online privacy.

How to remove spyware from your Android:

1. Download Clario Anti Spy and sign up for a subscription.
2. Open the app and tap on the Spyware scan section.
3. When the scan is complete, tap Review & Fix next to any suspicious apps and follow the on-screen guidance.

If you use an iPhone, it’s harder to install spyware—unless your phone is jailbroken. Non-jailbroken phones can only install apps directly from Apple’s App Store—and those apps are generally safe. However, if your phone is jailbroken, it loses some of Apple’s security and privacy features. But Clario Anti Spy can help you check if there’s a jailbreak on your iPhone.

How to check for a jailbreak on your iPhone:

1. Download Clario Anti Spy and subscribe.
2. Open the app and, under Device system check, tap Scan.
3. When the scan is done, look to see if your device is jailbroken.

If your iPhone isn’t jailbroken, it’s unlikely that spyware has been installed. If it is jailbroken, you should look for suspicious apps and remove them.

Immediate steps to take if your ex-boyfriend is stalking you

If you know that your ex is stalking you, there are a few things you should do straight away.

Make sure that you document his behavior so you have a record when you contact the police. If he speaks to you, reinforce your boundaries and avoid contacting him yourself. Tell friends and family what’s going on—and, of course, call the police.

1. Documenting stalking behavior

Keep records of what he does. When you contact the police, they might want to see evidence.

To document his behavior, you should:

• Write down the date and time of any contact, along with where it happened.
• Take screenshots of phone calls, emails, and messages.
• Save videos from your security cameras—or record interactions if it’s possible, safe, and legal.

2. Reinforcing boundaries and limiting contact

If it’s safe for you to do so, reinforce your boundaries when he contacts you. Tell him you don’t want to hear from him again and don’t contact him yourself.

Block him wherever you can online.

Additionally, remove yourself from shared accounts and change passwords where possible.

3. Seeking support from friends, family, or professional

If your ex-boyfriend is stalking you, tell the important people in your life. This might be your friends, family, and colleagues so they know what’s going on and can protect you.

You may also want to tell your doctor or therapist. Being stalked and feeling like you’re in danger can make you feel very anxious, and you may need extra support.

4. Contacting law enforcement

If your stalker ex-boyfriend hasn’t given up yet, you might need to get the police involved.

Depending on your location, the steps may be slightly different, but usually you could:

• Call the police on your local non-emergency number
• Go down to your local police station or precinct and ask to make a report

If you are in immediate danger, call the emergency number in your area and ask for the police.

Preventing future stalking

It’s not always possible to avoid the danger of stalking, but there are a few things you can try to avoid your ex-partner following you.

How to avoid being tracked by your stalker ex-boyfriend:

• Ensure your social media accounts are private.
• Change your phone number and email address.
• Change passwords that he might know.
• Use a VPN so he can’t track your online activity.
• Talk to a lawyer to arrange a restraining order.

Conclusion

If your ex-boyfriend is stalking you, you’re probably really anxious about your privacy and safety. Hopefully, the tips in this article will help you recognize the signs and stay safe.

Remember, your stalker ex-boyfriend might not just be following you in person—he might be tracking your phone and online activity, too. Use Clario Anti Spy to check your phone’s safety, so it can’t be used as a tool to report back to your controlling ex.