Ex-Girlfriend Is Stalking Me

What is stalking

Stalking is a form of harassment that involves consistent, unwanted attention and behavior towards someone. This can manifest through phone calls, messages, and even physical following. Stalkers often seek to control or instill fear in their victims. This demeanor may stem from different reasons, but it always violates personal privacy and can lead to severe emotional distress.

Stalking is repetitive and intrusive in nature. Unlike casual, friendly interactions, stalkers violate boundaries and ignore any appeals to stop. Understanding the motives and potential risks is vital for those experiencing such behavior from an ex.

Why is your ex-girlfriend stalking you

Reasons why your ex-girlfriend is stalking you:

• difficulty accepting divorce or break-up
• hoping that by staying in contact, she can rekindle what was lost
• feelings of jealousy, anger, or a desire for revenge
• may see their actions as attempts to communicate or resolve unresolved emotions

What it means when an ex-girlfriend is stalking you

When an ex-girlfriend is stalking you, it may be a sign of:

• a wish to renew the relationship
• a struggle to move on
• an unhealthy attachment
• a drive for control
• emotional instability

Regardless of its nature, you shouldn’t have to endure your ex’s actions. Recognizing this behavior as harmful and inappropriate is the first step toward addressing it.

Signs your ex-girlfriend is stalking you

Signs of your ex stalking you include persistent unwanted calls, appearing where you are, refusing to leave you alone, giving unwanted gifts, spreading rumors, or even physically following you.

Stalking often leads to threats, which may lead to harmful actions. That is why you need to be able to recognize this unhealthy behavior before it escalates.

Let's dig deeper into the signs you’re being stalked by your former girlfriend:

1. Unwanted call and message
2. Follows you or appears wherever you are
3. Refuses to leave you alone
4. Gives you gifts you don't want
5. Spreading rumors or posting personal information about you

1. Unwanted call and message

One of the most common signs your ex is stalking you is receiving constant calls and messages. These seem like innocent attempts to reconnect, but they often cross the line into harassment. If your ex-girlfriend is bombarding you with crazy texts or calls, especially after you've asked her to stop, it’s an obvious sign of stalking.

2. Follows you or appears wherever you are

Your ex shows up everywhere you go? It might not be coincidental. Do you think it is? Sometimes stalkers go as far as installing spyware on devices to track victims’ movements. If you suspect your ex-girlfriend has possibly compromised your phone with such software, try Clario Anti Spy. Its Device system check feature scans for threats like jailbreaks, checking if anyone has breached Apple's security policies to install spyware.

Here’s how to run the Device system check on your device:

1. Download Clario Anti Spy and create an account.
2. Under Device system check, click Scan.
3. A new window will open with the scan results.

3. Refuses to leave you alone

A stalker often refuses to take no for an answer. Your ex-girlfriend ignores your requests for space? Constantly seeks interaction or reconciliation? In this case, reinforcing your post-breakup boundaries may discourage her attempts to invade your space. Here’s what you can do:

1. If it's safe, explicitly ask your ex-girlfriend to stop harassing you.
2. Make sure to communicate that her behavior is abusive, and try to document your request.
3. Save the text or email you send, or take screenshots so you have a record.

4. Gives you gifts you don't want

If your ex-girlfriend keeps buying you presents after you split up, it may be another sign of stalking. She might use gifts as a way to win you back or manipulate your feelings. While the gesture may seem harmless, it's also a tactic to maintain contact or exert control. Return these gifts and make it clear you don't want any more of them.

5. Spreading rumors or posting personal information about you

Stalkers often spread false information about their victims. Your ex may use social media, mutual friends, or your community to tell falsehoods about you. This way, she can manipulate how others perceive you, causing you emotional distress. It is best that you document any instances of defamation for future reference.

What to do if your ex-girlfriend is stalking you

Don’t rationalize the behavior of women who stalk or try to find excuses for their actions. Ignoring them won’t help either, as stalkers rarely stop on their own. On the contrary, this behavior often escalates into more violent acts over time.

If your ex is stalking you, contact law enforcement and seek legal assistance immediately. Stalking is a serious offense, and you have the right to protection.

Here’s what you can do to protect yourself from stalking and harassment:

1. Documenting cases of stalking
2. Be direct with your ex-girlfriend
3. Tell your friends and family
4. Close your social media accounts
5. Change your number
6. Check your devices for hacking
7. Avoid third parties who may be in contact with your ex-girlfriend
8. Consider the security system
9. Keep your personal life private
10. Request a restraining order

1. Documenting cases of stalking

Keep a detailed record of every stalking incident. Note dates, times, locations, and the nature of each event. This documentation can serve as valuable evidence if you decide to take legal action.

2. Be direct with your ex-girlfriend

Communicate clearly and assertively with your ex-girlfriend. Let her know that her behavior is unwanted and that she must stop. Be honest about your feelings and set firm boundaries.

3. Tell your friends and family

Inform your friends and family (and even colleagues) about the situation. Instruct them to be on the lookout for any suspicious events. This will add an extra layer of safety and discourage your ex from contacting you through your close connections.

4. Close your social media accounts

Temporarily deactivate your social media accounts so that your stalker can’t track your online presence or use it to contact you. If deactivation is not an option, adjust your privacy settings. You might want to switch your social media accounts to private and remove her from your followers. Also, it's a good idea to get rid of any profiles that seem like bots—they could be fake accounts she made.

5. Change your number

Consider changing your phone number to cut off unwanted communication. It’s a great way to get some peace of mind. Inform your trusted contacts that your new number remains private from your ex-girlfriend.

6. Check your devices for hacking

Your ex-girlfriend-turned-stalker might feel tempted to peek into your phone for some leverage. She can get away with spying on you for a long time, especially if you're unfamiliar with the red flags. Wondering how to check if your phone is being tracked? The first thing to do is to check data usage.

Here’s how to check data usage on iPhone:

1. Go to Settings.
2. Tap on Mobile Data or Mobile Services.
3. To view the apps that consume cellular data, swipe down. A green toggle indicates the app is using mobile data. If mobile data is turned off, the apps will rely solely on Wi-Fi for internet access.

Here’s how to check data usage on Android:

1. Go to Settings.
2. Depending on your device type, look for either Connections > Data usage > Mobile data or Network & Internet > Mobile network.
3. Scroll to find App data usage.
4. Tao on it to get info about each app.

7. Avoid third parties who may be in contact with your ex-girlfriend

Be vigilant about who has access to your personal information. Ask your mutual friends or acquaintances not to share any details about you with your ex-girlfriend. Inform them of the situation and request discretion.

8. Consider the security system

Take proactive measures to protect your home and personal spaces, especially if stalking turns into physical following. Installing security cameras and alarms can alert you to any unwanted presence and provide evidence if needed in the future.

9. Keep your personal life private

It may turn out that your ex-girlfriend is stalking a new girlfriend, not you. Ex-partners turned-stalkers often target new partners of their victims. That being said, it is best to maintain privacy regarding your new personal life. You may need to:

• take a social media break
• stay alert to any suspicious behavior
• document any distressing situations your ex caused
• contact local authorities if your girlfriend feels unsafe

10. Request a restraining order

If the stalking persists despite your efforts, consider seeking a restraining order. This legal action can offer protection and reinforce the seriousness of the situation.

Conclusion

Discovering that your ex-girlfriend is stalking you can be distressing. You have to deal with the situation as soon as possible for your safety and well-being. Set boundaries, document incidents, and seek support.

Additionally, consider checking for spyware regularly. Clario Anti Spy’s Device system check feature scans for security threats, like jailbreaks, ensuring your device stays safe from unauthorized access.