Boyfriend Stalking Me

What is stalking?

Stalking manifests as a pattern of persistent, unwanted, obsessive behavior or harassment toward a person. It can assume various forms, including constantly calling you and sending you unwanted text messages and emails. Stalkers can also send unwanted messages or leave unsavory comments on your social media profiles.  

Can your phone be tracked? Yes, stalkers can monitor you by tracking your phone or following you in person. The former method involves tracking your GPS location and monitoring your text messages, calls, social media activity, and more. The latter method sees the stalker following you, appearing at your home or workplace, or vandalizing your house or property.

Is spyware illegal? Absolutely. Monitoring someone's phone or computer without their knowledge or consent is illegal. Anyone can remotely monitor your phone, and their motivations vary. Hackers aim to steal your data to sell it on the dark web. Meanwhile, people who know you personally, like your significant other, might spy on you out of curiosity about your activities or because of an obsession with you.

Why is your boyfriend stalking you?

Many reasons may be causing your boyfriend to stalk you. It's important to note that it’s never your fault. No one deserves to have their privacy compromised. Often, the answer lies with your partner. Maybe he has trust issues or hasn’t healed from traumatic experiences in his past relationships. Regardless, there’s no way to justify his behavior.

Signs your boyfriend is stalking you

If you suspect your boyfriend is stalking you, you might be onto something. Even the most experienced stalkers can slip up sometimes, especially as they become more obsessive and concerned.

Stop speculating and get to the root of the problem with Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan. This scan rigorously checks your smartphone for spying signs. If your partner has secretly installed a parental control app or similar software on your phone to spy on you, Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan will detect it and notify you. Then, all you need to do is delete it using the Spyware scan.

Use Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan to find out for sure if your significant other is monitoring you. Here’s how:

1. Download Clario AntiSpy on your mobile phone and create an account.
2. Tap Spyware scan and select Run deep scan.
3. Wait a few moments and check the report. Follow the prompts if the scan unearths any threats.

Here are some more clues that suggest that your lover is spying on you:

1. He is very jealous

If your boyfriend was easy-going and trusting at the beginning of the relationship and has become increasingly jealous, he’s probably stalking you. Romantic partners might normally feel a little jealous of their significant others. However, it’s not okay when they become obsessive. Your boyfriend stalking you could be rooted in insecurity, especially if he questions everything you do or makes outrageous and unreasonable accusations against you.

2. Always interested in where you are going

One sign of a healthy relationship is independence since maintaining individuality is crucial. Conversely, if your partner becomes controlling and starts to monitor your movements, these are clear signs of a stalker boyfriend. Such behavior is unhealthy and significantly restricts your ability to live independently outside of the relationship. If you fail to report every detail of your whereabouts, he might resort to spying on you, indicating a high level of possessiveness.

3. You should always respond immediately

A jealous or obsessive partner demands constant updates on your activities, insisting you answer their calls or texts immediately. Failing to do so could result in threats, insults, and unfounded accusations, which is entirely unjust. If he expects instant responses all the time, it's a sign he may be tracking your movements.

4. He finds data about you

Has your male friend ever mentioned something you swore you didn’t tell him? He likely knows that information because he’s spying on you. It's likely he obtained this information by spying on you, such as reading your messages, checking your social media accounts, listening to your phone conversations, or even following you without your knowledge.

5. Lots of empty calls from unknown numbers

Receiving calls where the caller remains silent, hangs up immediately, or makes odd noises before disconnecting could point to harassment from your suitor. The likelihood of this happening is heightened if you've recently had a falling out and requested space, so he harassed you in retaliation.

6. He catches you off guard

If your partner shows up unexpectedly at your home, workplace, or elsewhere, he may track your location or follow you. Such surprises are far from romantic and rather alarming, indicating his knowledge of your whereabouts at all times.

7. Expects you to agree with him all the time

Be wary of a suitor who cannot accept disagreement and expects constant agreement. This insistence is a red flag. It may indicate his lack of accountability and a possible obsession with monitoring you.

8. Constantly interrogating your friends

Your lover probably knows some of your friends and family members. In fact, you likely have a few mutual friends. He might resort to questioning your friends and family for updates about your life, especially when he can't reach you. He could seek information about your current relationships, activities, and plans—like whether you’ve moved on and with whom, what you’ve been up to, where you plan to go, and when. If you’ve blocked him, he might request them to intervene on his behalf to convince you to let down your guard so he can contact you again and possibly fix things between you two.

9. Hastens to meet your family

A boyfriend who wants to forcibly establish his position in your life may insist on meeting your family, even though it’s too soon. This push to meet your family prematurely likely aims to verify your relationships with male family members. It can lead to restrictions on your social interactions with other men.

10. He threatens to harm himself

After failing to get his way, your significant other can threaten the unthinkable—to harm himself. In extreme cases, they can threaten to commit suicide. Your lover resorting to threats of self-harm after failing to control the relationship demonstrates manipulative behavior designed to exploit your concern for his well-being. However, let’s call a spade a spade: this behavior is manipulative, and you shouldn’t fall for it. Alert his family or call the police if you believe he might follow through with his threats. Beyond that, there’s not much you can do.

11. Uses gifts to compensate for obsessive behavior

Your partner may attempt to pacify you with gifts when confronted about his stalking behavior, using this tactic to distract from his actions. After all, he knows what you like and will use it to manipulate you. However, it's crucial to reject such gifts and maintain your stance. It will send a strong message that you cannot be bought.

12. Attacks your reputation

Faced with resistance, your lover might attempt to damage your reputation, leveraging its importance to you as a means to manipulate the situation to his advantage. He may do this in hopes of reconciling the relationship or achieving his desired outcome, whatever that is.

What to do if a boyfriend stalks you

Inform your close friends and family about the stalking behavior. Sharing your location with them and establishing a code word can prompt them to call the police if you feel threatened. Document each incident meticulously and take this evidence to your local law enforcement to file for a protection order. Trusting your instincts and recording all instances of stalking not only makes you feel safer but significantly increases the chances of legal repercussions for your boyfriend if he persists in his behavior.

How do you protect yourself from cyberstalkers? Find out below.

1. Do not rationalize the stalking behavior

There’s no excuse for stalking. No matter how your partner spins it, what you’ve experienced in the past, or what you may have done to him, it’s illegal for him to spy on you. Your boyfriend lacks boundaries. It's vital to understand that caring about you does not include violating your privacy or breaking the law. Setting firm boundaries is essential. Furthermore, excusing his behavior can perpetuate it. It’s best to draw the line and set boundaries with him.

2. Keep evidence of stalking

You may be led to believe that the stalking is temporary and that your lover will grow tired of it and stop. However, his behavior can escalate, and you can be in danger. Spying can be hard to prove, especially with online stalking, as the perpetrator can do it anonymously. Be proactive. Even if the stalking seems temporary, it's important to collect evidence of all stalking activities, including any digital communication across various platforms. This documentation can prove invaluable if legal action becomes necessary.

3. Trust your intuition

In many cases, when you suspect your other half is stalking you, chances are that he is. Your gut feeling is there for a reason. Pay attention to your gut feelings and keep track of all suspicious activities, as these observations can eventually substantiate your claims.

4. Warn others that you are being staked

When your romantic partner is monitoring you, you need all the support you can get. Being open with your social circle—including friends, family, and even neighbors—about your situation can provide an additional layer of security and support. Friendly neighbors can help keep an eye on your home to ensure you’re safe and alert you or the police if they notice anything suspicious.

5. Contact law enforcement

The next step is getting the authorities involved as a preventative measure. Contact your local law enforcement authorities to tell them what you’re experiencing. Presenting your collected evidence can help mitigate the situation by either intervening directly with your boyfriend or offering protection measures.

6. Create a stalking safety plan

Build a stalking safety plan to stay out of danger. Here’s how:

• Block your boyfriend across all digital platforms—including email—and their phone number, and ask your friends and family members to do the same.
• Change your phone number and don’t share it with mutual friends.
• Install internet security on all your devices, like an antivirus tool, and regularly check your phone and computer for signs of spyware.
• Research your state’s cyberstalking and online harassment laws or contact a lawyer about your options, like the possibility of filing invasion of privacy charges.
• Avoid going to places your partner frequents or expects you to go.
• Change your daily routes to and from work, the gym, etc, to avoid predictability.
• Avoid traveling alone and use the buddy system as much as possible.
• Inform your friends, family members, and co-workers about what is happening so they can be aware.
• Store all pieces of communication from your estranged boyfriend, like packages, gifts, and letters.
• Go to public areas to avoid being isolated.
• Share your location with close friends and family in case they need to call the police on your behalf.
• Come up with a code word you can use to text your close family and friends when you’re in danger or feeling uneasy. They can respond by following a previously discussed plan to assist you, like calling the police.
• Strengthen your home’s digital and physical security by using security cameras, better locks, gates, and deadbolts.
• File a police report and get a protective order against your lover if you believe you’re in imminent danger. This will increase their chances of facing legal consequences if they continue to harass you.

Conclusion

An obsessive boyfriend might seem endearing at first, especially in the early stages of a relationship. You might interpret his behavior as a sign of his genuine interest in your life. Nevertheless, when such attention escalates into harassment, it becomes unhealthy and damaging. Recognizing the transition from affectionate concern to controlling and stalking behavior is key to protecting your well-being. We know that there can sometimes be a gray area in such circumstances, especially if you’ve never experienced stalking in the past.

If you’re uncertain about whether you're experiencing stalking, the guidance provided in this article can help you identify and address such behavior effectively. Moreover, utilizing tools like Clario Anti Spy's Spyware scan can offer concrete evidence of any spying attempts on your phone, further enabling you to take steps to secure your privacy. Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan finds hidden spying software, like parental control apps, though it won’t tell you whether your romantic partner is the one who downloaded and installed it. This is important because some apps allow the spy to hide the app icon to prevent you from spotting them. If your phone contains any spy apps, Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan will guide you in removing them and securing your phone.