Table of contents
- Can your girlfriend spy on you
- Why would your girlfriend spy on you
- How to tell if your girlfriend is spying on you
- 1. Your phone battery is low
- 2. Device overheating when not in use
- 3. High data usage
- 4. You get strange messages
- 5. Changes in your girlfriend's behavior
- 6. Your girlfriend knows things she shouldn't
- What to do if your girlfriend is spying on you
- 1. Ask for an explanation
- 2. Communicate candidly
- 3. Inform about your boundaries of privacy and personal space
- 4. Seek professional help
- Conclusion
Can your girlfriend spy on you
Yes—your girlfriend can spy on you. Whether it’s tampering with your phone, stalking you on social media, or hacking into your personal accounts, there are numerous ways she could monitor your activities.
Your girlfriend can spy on you by:
- Installing spyware: Monitoring tools, such as mSpy, eyeZy, and uMobix, can track your messages, calls, and internet activity without your knowledge. If she knows your phone’s passcode, she can quickly set up a spy app when you aren’t looking.
- Stalking social media: She might closely follow your Facebook and Instagram, checking your friends, posts, and messages for anything she deems suspicious.
- Accessing personal accounts: If she knows your passwords, she can access your email, social media, or other accounts and view private information.
- Location tracking: She could place a tracking device like an AirTag in your personal belongings or vehicle to monitor your location. Or, she could install spyware on your phone or tamper with apps like Find My or Google Maps to relay your location to her.
- Using hidden cameras: It might sound like something out of a spy movie but don't underestimate a suspicious or possessive girlfriend. She could use hidden cameras in various forms, such as inside smoke detectors, USB chargers, or alarm clocks.
A quick way to tell if your spouse or girlfriend is spying on your phone is to scan it for spyware. Running a Spyware Scan with Clario AntiSpy can quickly help you get rid of privacy-invasive apps and other software.
Here’s how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you with Clario Anti Spy:
- Install Clario Anti Spy and subscribe to create an account.
- Tap Scan under the Device system check section.
- Go through the scan report for spy tools and follow the on-screen instructions to remove them.
![Screenshots that demonstrate if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for hidden spy apps with Clario Anti Spy's Spyware Scan feature. Screenshots that demonstrate if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for hidden spy apps with Clario Anti Spy's Spyware Scan feature.](https://static-cdn.clario.co/blog-upload/images/cdca17d97c.png)
Clario Anti Spy also detects jailbreaks on iOS (which opens the iPhone to even more malicious forms of spyware), alerts you to compromised passwords and login information and identifies vulnerabilities in your phone's security setup.
Why would your girlfriend spy on you
Possible reasons your girlfriend might spy on you include trust issues, jealousy, insecurity, or a need for control. Her behavior may be influenced by negative past relationships, a controlling or manipulative personality, or mental health issues such as anxiety or paranoia.
Your girlfriend is spying on you because:
- She suspects you're cheating: If she fears you’re having an affair, she'll monitor you to confirm or dismiss her suspicions.
- She’s insecure or jealous: If she feels threatened by others, she might spy on you to reassure herself of her importance to you.
- She needs to feel in control: She may have a strong desire to control your life by tracking your activities and interactions.
- She’s manipulative: Controlling behavior and manipulation often go together. She might use what she learns to make you doubt yourself.
- She has mental health issues: If your girlfriend suffers from anxiety or a paranoid personality disorder, she might have impulsive urges to spy on you.
- Past incidents have broken her trust: If you’ve cheated, lied, or hidden things before, she might constantly monitor you to figure out if she can trust you.
- She’s been betrayed in past relationships: Previous partners who have cheated can leave emotional scars, so she might watch your actions to prevent another heartbreak.
- She has trust issues from childhood experiences: Negative experiences with family or abandonment in childhood can affect the way she handles relationships.
Interesting fact
A 2021 study published by the Journal of Social Psychology Research found that individuals who experience parental rejection, suffer from psychological anxiety, or feel jealous are more likely to spy on their partners.
How to tell if your girlfriend is spying on you
Unsure how your girlfriend is tracking you? Start by checking your phone for spyware. Also, pay attention to any changes in her behavior or details she mentions that she shouldn’t know.
1. Your phone battery is low
If your phone battery drains faster than usual, it could be due to spyware. Monitoring apps consume lots of power because they continuously collect and transmit data. Check the battery stats in iOS and Android to identify suspicious software.
Here's how to view battery usage by app in iOS and Android:
- Open the Settings app on your phone.
- Tap Battery (iPhone) or Battery usage (Android).
- Review the list of battery-intensive apps. If you spot an app you don't know at the top of the list, uninstall it. If it's a familiar location-sharing app, confirm it isn't transmitting your location to someone.
![Screenshots that demonstrate how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for battery-intensive apps on your iPhone or Android. Screenshots that demonstrate how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for battery-intensive apps on your iPhone or Android.](https://static-cdn.clario.co/blog-upload/images/ba36a5a462.png)
2. Device overheating when not in use
A rapidly overheating phone could indicate a surveillance tool running in the background. Most spyware transmits location data, so checking which apps have access to location services can pinpoint what’s causing the temperature spike.
Here's how to check apps with location access in iOS and Android:
- Open the Settings app on your phone.
- Go to Privacy & Security > Location Services (iPhone) or Location > App location permissions (Android).
- Check the list of apps with permissions to your location, delete anything suspicious, and limit location access for non-essential apps.
![Screenshots that demonstrate how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for battery-intensive apps on your iPhone or Android. Screenshots that demonstrate how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for battery-intensive apps on your iPhone or Android.](https://static-cdn.clario.co/blog-upload/images/b547ef90a8.png)
3. High data usage
A sudden jump in data usage may suggest that a spy app is transmitting your data. iOS lets you view cellular data usage by app, while Android enables you to view cellular and Wi-Fi usage.
Here's how to see which apps consume the most data in iOS and Android:
- Open the Settings app on your phone.
- On the iPhone, tap Cellular and scroll down to Cellular Data (iPhone). On Android, go to Network & internet > Internet (Android), and tap the Settings cog next to your carrier’s name for mobile data stats or App data usage > Non-carrier data usage for Wi-Fi usage stats.
- If you notice a suspicious app using lots of data, delete it.
![Screenshots showing how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for apps using cellular or Wi-Fi data on your iPhone or Android. Screenshots showing how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for apps using cellular or Wi-Fi data on your iPhone or Android.](https://static-cdn.clario.co/blog-upload/images/10e5ce61af.png)
4. You get strange messages
Strange messages containing codes or links could hint at a hidden spy app communicating with an external source. This method is less common nowadays, but older forms of spyware may still use it. If you constantly receive cryptic-looking texts, thoroughly check the list of apps on your phone and delete anything unfamiliar.
Here's how to check for unusual apps in iOS and Android:
- Open the Settings app.
- Go to General > iPhone Storage (iPhone) or Apps (Android).
- Identify and delete any apps you did not install.
![Screenshots showing how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for suspicious apps on the iPhone and Android. Screenshots showing how to know if your girlfriend is spying on you by checking for suspicious apps on the iPhone and Android.](https://static-cdn.clario.co/blog-upload/images/ba52bc2b57.png)
Note
Finding apps labeled Cydia, Sileo, Zebra, or Installer 5 on the iPhone indicates a jailbreak. You must factory reset the iOS device to remove the jailbreak.
5. Changes in your girlfriend's behavior
If you notice sudden changes in your girlfriend’s behavior, it might be a sign that she's stalking you,
Here's what you should look out for:
- She has mood swings: If she's become unexpectedly distant or unusually cheerful without any apparent reason, she’s probably suspecting you but finding it hard to suppress her emotions.
- She's unusually aware of what you're up to: She seems to know details about day-to-day activities you haven’t shared with her, indicating she’s keeping tabs on you.
- She makes suggestive remarks: She makes offhand comments that suggest she knows more about your activities than you’ve shared, a clear signal she's invading your privacy.
6. Your girlfriend knows things she shouldn't
If your girlfriend mentions places you’ve been or things you’ve done that you haven’t told her about, she might be using location tracking or other surveillance methods to spy on you.
Here's what else you can do to know if your girlfriend is spying on you:
- Check for spyware on your phone: Confirm there are no monitoring tools on your phone with a reliable anti-spyware utility like Clario Anti Spy.
- Inspect other devices: Similarly, check your desktop and laptop for any suspicious software that could be used for spying. Clario Anti Spy is also available on Mac and PC.
- Look for tracking devices: Check your belongings and vehicle for hidden tracking devices. A tracking detector—such as LightBlue (iPhone) and Tracker Detect (Android)—can help identify hidden Bluetooth trackers.
- Check for hidden cameras: Thoroughly inspect your surroundings for hidden cameras that she might use to monitor you.
- Monitor your social media: Check your social media accounts for signs of stalking. That includes unexpected friend requests, likes, or comments from fake profiles that could be her in disguise.
What to do if your girlfriend is spying on you
If you're sure your girlfriend is spying on you, avoid rationalizing her behavior and ask her for an explanation. Tell her how you feel and define your boundaries. Plan on getting professional help if you want to continue with the relationship.
1. Ask for an explanation
How you approach the situation depends on her reasons. Does she not trust you? Is she genuinely concerned for your safety? Or is she being controlling? Before jumping to conclusions, try to understand her perspective. There might be a misunderstanding or a valid reason for her actions. Talk to her calmly and be willing to listen.
If you’re worried that bringing it up might lead to a confrontation, try lightening the atmosphere first. Go for a movie, dinner, or another activity you both enjoy to create a more relaxed setting for your conversation.
2. Communicate candidly
Once you understand her reasons, be honest and straightforward about how her behavior makes you feel. Explain that her actions make you uncomfortable and emphasize how much you value privacy and trust in a relationship. Discuss specific incidents that bothered you, and let her share her perspective. Make sure to listen to her concerns as well.
3. Inform about your boundaries of privacy and personal space
If she seems open to change, begin by defining your boundaries to ensure she respects your privacy. Make it clear that violating your personal space by spying on your phone, stalking you on social media, or monitoring you through other methods is unacceptable.
Next, work together on a plan that encourages openness and honesty. That might include regularly sharing your feelings or being clear about your whereabouts.
4. Seek professional help
If you have trouble communicating with her but you want to work things out, it’s time to seek professional help. A relationship counselor can guide and support both of you through any trust and privacy issues. They can also help identify underlying problems contributing to her behavior, such as undiagnosed medical issues.
Conclusion
Your privacy matters. If your girlfriend is spying on you, talk to her, understand her reasons, and set clear boundaries to protect your personal space and—hopefully—save the relationship. If your efforts fail, get professional assistance. Using a security solution like Clario Anti Spy can also ensure she's not infringing on your privacy.
If nothing works, consider ending the relationship. If you believe she may behave irrationally, seek support from friends and family. Remember, it is illegal to spy on someone—if she continues to monitor you, you can always contact law enforcement.