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My Girlfriend Is Stalking Me

Stalking is a widespread issue but receives significantly less discussion and awareness, especially regarding female perpetrators. Conversations seldom cover stalking within current romantic relationships as much as they focus on incidents involving ex-partners. Yet, the impact on victims is profound and should never be underrated. If you suspect your girlfriend of stalking behavior, Clario Anti Spy's Spyware scan can assist.

Table of contents

Why is your girlfriend stalking you?

Why might your girlfriend engage in stalking? The motives can range widely:

  • Feeling rejected by you. Even if you unintentionally ignore or reject her, she might abandon reason, closely observing your every move. Fear of rejection can trigger a profound emotional response, leading to behaviors disregarding personal boundaries.
  • An obsession with you. For some individuals, a significant lack of boundaries permeates various aspects of their lives, particularly when dating a new boyfriend and in marriage. When obsession takes hold, it intensifies this absence of limits, compelling her to monitor your activities relentlessly. This obsession often stems from an intense emotional attachment that blurs the lines between appropriateness and respect for privacy.
  • Fantasizing about you. Love, especially when it veers into the realm of obsession, can push your girlfriend into a fantasy world. In this world, the boundaries between what's real and what's imagined become increasingly indistinct. This detachment from reality can lead her to engage in behavior that overlooks the norms of conduct and the sanctity of personal boundaries.
  • Narcissistic traits and behaviors. Stalkers typically demonstrate a profound disregard for the feelings, preferences, and needs of others. If your girlfriend exhibits narcissism, she might go to extraordinary lengths to gain your time and attention, caring little for the impact of her actions on your sense of autonomy and privacy.
  • Feelings of insecurity or lack of trust. Partners who have experienced betrayal or have been hurt in past relationships may become untrusting or insecure. These feelings, when not addressed, can prompt your stalker girlfriend to spy on you as a way to mitigate her insecurities.

Essentially, the decision to stalk may arise from a complex interplay of emotional distress, obsession, narcissistic tendencies, and unresolved insecurities. Recognizing these underlying causes is crucial to addressing the behavior and seeking solutions that respect both partners' boundaries and well-being.

Does stalking mean love?

No, stalking does not mean love. When someone loves their partner, it is normal for them to take an interest in the other person's life, but always within reasonable limits. A crucial indicator of a healthy relationship is the mutual respect for personal boundaries that both individuals uphold consistently. Furthermore, genuine love involves deep respect and consideration for the other person's feelings and autonomy. It encompasses support, understanding, and the joy of sharing one’s life with another without overstepping personal boundaries.


However, stalkers do not respect these boundaries. Their behavior represents an obsessive, unhealthy fixation, where the stalker prioritizes their desires and needs over the well-being and consent of the person they claim to love. Stalkers often inflict great distress and discomfort on their partners—emotions far removed from those associated with love. Additionally, a stalker’s behavior can lead to a toxic and potentially dangerous situation for the victim, undermining the very foundation of trust and safety essential in any loving relationship.

Is stalking a form of manipulation?

Yes, stalkers frequently resort to manipulation as a core tactic. They can devise various strategies to control their victims, such as fabricating emergencies to elicit sympathy, making false promises to keep the lines of communication open, and using blackmail to exert control.


Stalkers' manipulative behaviors may also include reminding their victims of the gifts they have given and the favors they have done in an attempt to induce guilt and obligation. They may distort the victim’s words, exploit their insecurities, and even threaten or use blackmail to achieve their ends. Such tactics are aimed at weakening the victim's defenses and maintaining dominance and control, further entrenching the stalker’s presence in their life.


This pattern of manipulation is not only damaging but also erodes the victim’s sense of self and autonomy, making it a deeply harmful aspect of stalking. The use of manipulation and abuse underlines the stalker's desire to control their victim rather than engage in a relationship founded on mutual respect and affection. Victims often feel trapped, unable to escape the stalker's influence due to the complex web of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical constraints placed upon them.

How to know if your girlfriend is stalking you?

Do you frequently notice your girlfriend's car parked near places you visit or where you work, or do you often unexpectedly run into her? These are some of the various stalking signs. If these encounters happen often, they indicate that your significant other might be tracking your movements.


Another alarming clue is an unusual influx of phone calls, either from your girlfriend herself or from unrecognized numbers, where the caller hangs up without speaking. This could mean she's keeping tabs on you, trying to figure out where you are, or simply trying to listen to your background environment.


Moreover, take it seriously if you come home to find your doors unlocked or noticed things in your personal spaces, like your home or office, have been tampered with or rearranged. These are significant red flags suggesting that someone, likely your lover, is invading your personal space without your consent.


Feeling uncertain and anxious about the possibility of being stalked by your partner is perfectly normal. However, living in doubt is not an option you should settle for. Taking proactive steps to ascertain whether these concerns have merit is essential. One of the most effective ways to determine if you're being monitored is by using anti-spying software.


Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware Scan comes highly recommended if you’re interested in learning how to know if your phone is hacked. It doesn’t just offer the potential for peace of mind; it provides concrete evidence if your privacy is being breached.


Here’s a detailed guide on how to leverage the Clario Anti Spy’s Spyware scan:

  1. Download Clario Anti Spy on your smartphone and create an account.  
  2. Navigate to the Spyware Scan section and select Run deep scan. Clario Anti Spy’s sophisticated scanning technology will meticulously comb through your device, searching for any hidden spyware. This includes anything that's been installed to monitor your activities, from text messages and call logs to location tracking.
  3. Should Clario AntiSpy detect spyware, it doesn't just stop there. It notifies you about the threat and provides guided steps to eliminate it from your device effectively. This ensures that any monitoring or tracking tools covertly placed on your phone are completely removed.
Clario AntiSpy's Spyware scan is pictured on an iPhone screen. The tool allows you to find out if your girlfriend is stalking you by clicking on the Run deep scan button as pictured in the mock-ups.

How do you feel when your girlfriend secretly stalks you?

Experiencing stalking by your girlfriend brings about discomfort and confusion. It makes you question her trust in you. Feelings of anxiety, stress, low mood, and depression may arise. Over time, this can evolve into trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).


From a practical standpoint, being stalked makes your senses abnormally alert, as you constantly anticipate your partner showing up unannounced or inquiring about matters they should not know. Such experiences can also disrupt your regular sleep patterns, causing you to stay awake at night due to worry, stress, anxiety, and fatigue brought on by the stalking. Completing everyday tasks becomes a challenge when you are being stalked.

Good to know

A study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence in 2023 highlighted the impact of stalking, revealing that out of 48 identified effects, the vast majority (91.5%) were psychological. It also found that people close to the victim, such as friends and children, suffer from the consequences of stalking behaviors. Furthermore, 54% of individuals targeted by stalkers made significant changes to their lifestyle, including relocating their homes or workplaces, reducing social engagements, and enhancing their security measures. These findings point to the crucial need for trauma-informed support from mental health professionals for both victims of stalking and their acquaintances.

What can you do if your girlfriend is stalking you?

When faced with the challenging situation of your girlfriend stalking you, it’s vital to employ a comprehensive strategy to address her stalking behavior effectively. This strategy should encompass direct and clear communication, enhancing your digital security, and seeking support from your friends and family. If the situation escalates, documenting the behavior and involving authorities becomes necessary.


Follow the guide below to handle your stalking situation:

  1. Talk to your female stalker openly about her actions
  2. Protect your devices from hacking
  3. Make your social media profiles private
  4. Let close people know about this situation
  5. Document the evidence
  6. Contact law enforcement

1. Talk to your girlfriend openly about her actions

Open dialogue plays a crucial role in relationships, more so if your partner’s actions are making you uncomfortable or scared. Addressing your lady’s stalking behavior directly and honestly can be the first step toward resolving the issue.


When having this conversation, it’s key to approach the subject with empathy and understanding, which can help prevent her from getting defensive. It’s important to convey the seriousness of your feelings and the need for change but also to recognize that change may not happen instantly. Continuous, open communication is essential as you navigate through this process.

2. Protect your devices from hacking

In many cases, a stalker will attempt to gain access to your personal devices to monitor your communications and movements. Therefore, it’s critical to stop cyberstalking by changing all your passwords and securing your devices. Opt for complex passwords and consider using a password manager. Additionally, installing cybersecurity software safeguards your devices against unauthorized access, providing an extra layer of security.

3. Make your social media profiles private

Social media offers stalkers a window into your life. By setting your accounts to private, you restrict who can view your posts and personal information. It's also advisable to vet new follower requests with caution, especially if you suspect your girlfriend might use fake accounts to track your activities. In some instances, blocking her, as well as her close contacts, may be necessary to cut off her access to your online life.

4. Let close people know about this situation

Stalking can be an isolating experience. Reaching out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals like therapists can offer you the support, advice, and therapy you need. Letting them know about your situation provides emotional support and ensures they can assist in practical ways, such as watching your back or contacting authorities if necessary.

5. Document the evidence

Keeping records of stalking behaviors, communications, and encounters provides crucial evidence should legal action become necessary. Documentation can include text messages, emails, call logs, and any other interactions. This evidence is vital for building a case against the stalker.

6. Contact local law enforcement

If your girlfriend’s behavior escalates or you feel your safety is in jeopardy, it's imperative to report her to local law enforcement. Their intervention might deter her from continuing her actions. Police can offer advice, protection, and even issue warnings to your stalker, which can be enough to stop the behavior in many cases.


Navigating a relationship where you’re being stalked, especially by a partner you trust, is undoubtedly challenging. However, acknowledging the red flags, setting boundaries, protecting your privacy, and seeking support are crucial steps in dealing with such a situation. Moreover, employing digital security measures and maintaining open communications with those around you can create a support network that bolsters your safety and well-being. If these efforts don't lead to a resolution, involving law enforcement is a necessary step.


Throughout this ordeal, remember that fostering a safe and respectful environment is paramount in any relationship. Toxic behaviors, such as stalking, are not acceptable and must be addressed promptly and decisively. Additionally, incorporating tools like Clario Anti Spy‘s Spyware scan can provide an added layer of security against spying threats. Such tools can detect and eliminate spyware, further safeguarding your privacy against intrusive behaviors. Remember, your safety and well-being should always come first in any relationship.

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