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My Ex's New Girlfriend Is Stalking Me

It’s a common occurrence – your ex starts dating a new girl and she has to see who the past competition was. She starts small by checking you out on Facebook and Instagram and maybe sending a text occasionally, but that might not be enough. At what point does a peek at your social media grow into full-blown stalking? In this article, we’ll discuss how to know if your ex’s new girlfriend is stalking you and how to protect yourself.

Table of contents

Why is your ex’s new girlfriend stalking you?

When someone you’ve dated gets a new partner, there are many reasons that person might stalk you:

She doesn't trust him

Your ex’s new partner might have trust issues, or he’s done something to cause her mistrust. Maybe your ex is stalking you. If she doesn’t trust that he’s faithful, she will first look at his previous partners to see if anything is happening between you and him.

She has low self-esteem

Low self-esteem causes people to do many things they wouldn’t otherwise do. She may also be jealous of you. Stalking you might be her way of feeling better about herself. If she thinks you’re worse off than her, that will make her feel more secure in her relationship with your ex.

Your ex makes her feel bad

If your ex makes his new partner feel bad about herself, she might turn to you for help. Or she might stalk you to see if you’re better off without your ex. Seeing how you are doing could help her determine whether or not to stick it out with her new boyfriend.

You and your ex have kids together

It can be challenging to date someone who has kids with someone else. And it can be even more challenging to trust that person when they share such a strong commonality with an ex-partner. This can cause insecurities in your ex’s new girlfriend, and she may keep an eye on you to make sure nothing is going on between the two of you or because she feels threatened by the previous bond you’ve shared.

She catches the unspoken feelings

Most people still have feelings for someone after they break up. So even if you don’t want to date your ex again, you likely still care for them in some capacity. Or maybe you do still have romantic feelings for them. Either way, your ex’s new girlfriend may notice unspoken feelings between you and feel the need to “keep her enemies close” by keeping tabs on you.

What can you do?

If you suspect your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is stalking you, you want to be as certain as possible. Stalking is a serious accusation and could reap significant consequences for the accused and you if you take matters to the authorities.


That being said, here’s a list of things that you can do if your ex’s new girlfriend is stalking you:

Talk to her

Before you do anything else, try talking to her. You don’t know why she’s watching you unless you ask her directly. You may have heard things through the rumor mill from others, but you’ll get the most accurate information directly from the source.


Casually checking you out on social media may be just the first step towards full-on spying on you.

Call her or go out for coffee and ask her what’s going on. And let her know you’re uncomfortable with the level of involvement she’s had on your social media or your personal life.

Don't beat yourself up

If your ex’s new girlfriend is stalking you, it likely has more to do with her own insecurities than with anything you’ve done. Don’t beat yourself up or waste your time feeling stressed over something that isn’t your fault. Just block her and move on.

Contact a mutual friend or family member

It can help to get an outside perspective if you suspect someone is stalking you. Talk to a mutual friend of yours and your ex or his new partner and tell them what’s been going on. Explain why you think she’s stalking you and ask if that behavior is typical for this person. They’ll likely have insight into the situation that can either confirm or deny your suspicions.

Draw a clear line between you and your ex

When you go through a breakup, setting boundaries with that person is healthy, particularly if you see each other regularly. Seeing your ex frequently can be disconcerting to their new partner. Set clear boundaries between you and your ex to make others aware that nothing is going on between you.

Take a look at your feelings and his

Really think about how you behave around your ex. Is there anything that would make his new partner wary of your current relationship with him?


Consider whether you’re more happy and outgoing around him or if you’re unconsciously flirty. Do you still have feelings for him, or does he still have feelings for you? Your ex’s new partner may be picking up on these feelings. If this is the case, do yourself and him a favor by toning it down and keeping your relationship purely platonic.

Regain your confidence

It’s never easy seeing an ex with a new partner. It can be a blow to your self-confidence. But don’t let that bring you down or do the very thing that you suspect his new girlfriend of doing.


Just focus on yourself and move on from them. If you see them around, just smile, say hello, and let it go. You deserve to be confident and happy without worrying about their relationship.

Block the number of your ex and his new girlfriend

If your ex’s new girlfriend is harassing you, block her immediately. It’s probably a good idea to block your ex too, especially if your ex tracks your phone. Block their numbers and their social media accounts. This will prevent either one of them from being able to contact you via phone or socials and hopefully cause her to lay off on the stalking.

Manage security settings on social media platforms

After you’ve blocked your ex’s new partner on social media, update your security settings to private to ensure that she won’t see your activity with any other profiles she may have. This will also be super helpful if your ex stalks your social media.

Use strong passwords and update them frequently

Depending on how recently you and your ex broke up, it’s entirely possible that some of his devices (TV, tablet, computer, etc.) could still be logged into some of your personal social media or streaming accounts.


Make sure you use strong passwords and update them frequently to prevent an ex or his partner from accessing any of your accounts.

Protect your device from viruses and spyware

If your ex’s new girlfriend is a serious stalker, she may try to add spyware to your devices to listen in on conversations or access your texts and messages.


Protect your computer and other devices from viruses and spyware with strong anti-virus software. Clario offers a 24/7 anti-spy solution for every platform with an easy-to-download app. Try Clario anti-spy app now.

Learn how to protect yourself in the event of an attack

Stalkers can become dangerous. Make sure you know how to protect yourself if your ex’s new girlfriend tries to attack you.


Things you can do to protect yourself include:

Be careful when you're alone

If you do have to go places alone, take extra caution. Be aware of your surroundings at all times, and let close friends or family know where you will be. It shouldn’t have to come to this, but if someone is stalking you, you can never be too careful.

Call the police

If someone is stalking you and you are concerned about your own well-being, you should get the police involved. Stalking is a criminal act, and the police can help you take the right actions to protect yourself.

Get a restraining order

If you fear for your well-being or those around you, get a restraining order taken out against your ex’s new partner. Peering at your social media posts now and then is one thing, but if she’s showing up regularly and making threats or doing something that causes you fear, you should get the proper authorities involved to keep her away from you.


No matter who is doing it, stalking is a major invasion of privacy, and you shouldn’t tolerate it. Take the proper course of action to deal with your stalker and protect yourself.


Clario’s anti-spyware can help you feel safer in a digital world. With data breach monitoring, ID theft protection, and powerful antivirus solutions, you can keep your online data safe from stalkers and exes.

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